Honestly Ladies,
When are you going to take the Cool Kid's advice and stop being so damn emotional? Its a travesty really that we have to deal with the underlings referred so sweetly as men however its just time to check. Yes, check your emotions at the door Ladies. Over and over and over again like a monkey with a miniature symbol (stolen entirely from Hot Chip) I listen to the same stories full of woe where an underling gives the gigande blow-off and instead of taking it on the chin you get all wrapped up in what you did wrong and the possibilities of where he might be up to including hospitals checking for his presence. NOT COOL! If he was meant to be hospitalized that night gosh forbid its fate playing its natural role and protecting you from an otherwise miserable rendezvous. If it decides not to play a natural role then its not time to allow depression and sadness to frisk your pockets and rob you of any joy hidden in your pockets! Rather get a soy latte, curl up with a novel, fill a hot bath (which is a total waste of upwards of 70 gallons + of water by the way so perhaps a quick hot shower would be most ardent?) and turn off your mobile. Its really not necessary to ponder the whereabouts of whats-his-face! Who cares? If you really think deeply about it...why the hell would you ever want to spend time getting to know this goober when he blew you off? If a new girl ditched you for a shopping trip and simply did not call you that morning to firm up plans whilst you stand in the outlets with a scowl on your face you hate the hell out of her and do not sit around waiting for an explanation. Rather you haul ass to BCBG and buy yourself an overpriced belt perhaps a last season Coach bag (gross). You do not dwell. You give the phone a jingle and if she does not answer there is no shame behind moving on. So why instead of sitting around a giant box of Godiva truffles with your puppy dog face on with your iPhone glued to your ass don't you forget the tosser! I know it seems easy to talk about on the surface and I tend to be an angry bitch so why would you take my advice??? Simply because I am always spot on about these things. Trust me if he did not call he did not want to hang out with you/could not afford to/wife would not give him the night off to gallivant/no gas in the car etc.....the last thing on his peanut shaped minuscule brain was you. Especially when he tells you he and the girlfriend are broken up but the still live together (he on the bottom and she on the top floors which is a complete and total sexual innuendo if you picked up on it). BULLSHITE!!!!!!!!So take the dress back to Nordstrom, stow the knee high boots in the closet for another day and pour yourself a St. Germain cocktail (like the one I am sipping on right now), because lets face it Elderflower liquor from the Alps (all marvelous things happen to come from the Alps), Champagne(dry dry dry is the key) and a splash of soda tastes so much better than the lousy kiss of stale beer and binaca. YUCK!
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