et another birthday beckons, I ponder. Over the past 28 years of my life many experiences I have had and as this number 29 is on the cusp I wax poetic as to just what I have accomplished on my life's list. While it is an exceptionally long list many items are now complete. In my body exists a gaping hole; a garish gash which belongs to my heart. I often wonder why this hole exists and while I bear it if anyone happens to notice. Most people bear their crosses; I too have my own but through it all and again its been quite a labyrinth I still manage to navigate it all. I suppose its due to the fact that the most tragic piece of my life has already made its way through my path and its haunting. Another year passes in my life and I still have no idea why its such a strong feeling knowing that yet again another birthday passes and all I really care about is the fact that my mother is not here. Candles on the cake are lit and then extinguished however the memories still burn bright as the delectable confection below is enjoyed and the clock continues to navigate a sea of experience without a guardian angel by my side. This year will prove to be another enduring one. Many weeks of travel, learning and reminiscing on past experiences while cataloguing new ones with friends and family along for the journey. If one was to make resolve to change things in their new year of life it would be to find a stronger version of myself leaving behind a past of insecurities and doubt. I will shed the sheath of over analysis and be patient with myself. I look forward to the new horizons in the distance. I know that even without the strength of my mother that I can endure anything after losing her. So here's to another year past and may I find the power to continue to tread the thicket of my future existence.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A Little Lull
As yet another birthday beckons, I ponder. Over the past 28 years of my life many experiences I have had and as this number 29 is on the cusp I wax poetic as to just what I have accomplished on my life's list. While it is an exceptionally long list many items are now complete. In my body exists a gaping hole; a garish gash which belongs to my heart. I often wonder why this hole exists and while I bear it if anyone happens to notice. Most people bear their crosses; I too have my own but through it all and again its been quite a labyrinth I still manage to navigate it all. I suppose its due to the fact that the most tragic piece of my life has already made its way through my path and its haunting. Another year passes in my life and I still have no idea why its such a strong feeling knowing that yet again another birthday passes and all I really care about is the fact that my mother is not here. Candles on the cake are lit and then extinguished however the memories still burn bright as the delectable confection below is enjoyed and the clock continues to navigate a sea of experience without a guardian angel by my side. This year will prove to be another enduring one. Many weeks of travel, learning and reminiscing on past experiences while cataloguing new ones with friends and family along for the journey. If one was to make resolve to change things in their new year of life it would be to find a stronger version of myself leaving behind a past of insecurities and doubt. I will shed the sheath of over analysis and be patient with myself. I look forward to the new horizons in the distance. I know that even without the strength of my mother that I can endure anything after losing her. So here's to another year past and may I find the power to continue to tread the thicket of my future existence.
et another birthday beckons, I ponder. Over the past 28 years of my life many experiences I have had and as this number 29 is on the cusp I wax poetic as to just what I have accomplished on my life's list. While it is an exceptionally long list many items are now complete. In my body exists a gaping hole; a garish gash which belongs to my heart. I often wonder why this hole exists and while I bear it if anyone happens to notice. Most people bear their crosses; I too have my own but through it all and again its been quite a labyrinth I still manage to navigate it all. I suppose its due to the fact that the most tragic piece of my life has already made its way through my path and its haunting. Another year passes in my life and I still have no idea why its such a strong feeling knowing that yet again another birthday passes and all I really care about is the fact that my mother is not here. Candles on the cake are lit and then extinguished however the memories still burn bright as the delectable confection below is enjoyed and the clock continues to navigate a sea of experience without a guardian angel by my side. This year will prove to be another enduring one. Many weeks of travel, learning and reminiscing on past experiences while cataloguing new ones with friends and family along for the journey. If one was to make resolve to change things in their new year of life it would be to find a stronger version of myself leaving behind a past of insecurities and doubt. I will shed the sheath of over analysis and be patient with myself. I look forward to the new horizons in the distance. I know that even without the strength of my mother that I can endure anything after losing her. So here's to another year past and may I find the power to continue to tread the thicket of my future existence.
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