Forever Young

So the surge of pain is earmarked by the years of stinging tears. The emptiness and the sour feelings inside. Wow, 20 years is almost upon us since your departure. My goodness mom...not a day, not even an hour passes where my mind is bereft of your identity. My behaviors, my actions and the shape I take is modeled on your form. Your beautiful face, your beautiful and caring mind. Always a hand lent to others in need you left your pace in the gravel. I follow like the innocent bird seeking the breadcrumbs you left behind for me to follow. And the sting of the tears and the passing of the years has not robbed me of your being. I sense that there is an innate possibility that the fact you are not here in substance you are here in state of being. Intangible, unscented. I miss it all. It hurts like hell. But when I look into the darkness I know that you are looking back at me. All-knowing that your kin is of sound self and that the crumbs you left behind have nourished the soul of a good and decent person. If I could have but one thing to say to you it would be but one thing.....Thank you.

A Falling Star Fell From Your Heart

And when it happens; its painful. I know I am the star that fell to my untimely death. Left in the dark...alone. Trying my hardest to regain the shadow of your heart at the very least. And yet its more difficult to navigate than a darkened hall. As I travel alone in my new found loneliness I wonder what the twilight of your heart looks like. As I fell from grace this time I am without the usual musings of fond memories. Shards of broken glass reflect the pieces of memories that once were. The pieces that might just be too difficult to reconfigure alone. The hands drained of their velvet red, scarred with just the remnants of the pain that hurt for a moment and then subsided. There is no new day without the reflection of your heart in my hand. The jagged memory of your offering of comfort I longed for but no longer do I pine for its perils of wisdom. I navigate the seas alone again and this time, the wounds heal much faster than the speed of light and sound. So fast that as I take my next breath the pang of longing disappears in its expulsion. And you wonder if this time it hurts...............yet not one moment.