I used to be the girl who gave a damn about everything. My emotions always ran high and my sensitivity levels more than likely exceeded what one would perceive to be normal. In that light I considered myself to be a pushover and it took me many many years to realize I was wasting my life. So now, after all time time has passed me by and somehow I've transformed I've realized that emotions can be dangerous if not properly harnessed. Emotions can be dangerous as they can make you think a certain way, act a certain way and almost cause you to trend your way of making major life choices. It can be toxic.
When you alleviate yourself from letting your emotions control your life you have a sense of freedom. You become able to shed the weight and burden of being driven by a dark passenger. You break free from the shackles of an almost manipulative posture, and it's amazing what you feel and what you notice.
The first thing you realize is that the people you surrounded yourself with and placed infinite value in aren't what you think they are. The people you think care for you become your future energy vampires. What you mistake for a genuine friend becomes a feeder fish and more dead weight than strength. Alas, when you shed that weight, those who fall into the weight loss category become upset. They don't realize what they've done. The trail they've blazed, had to be closed and when that time comes; it's not pretty.
The bottom line is that once you find joy and happiness and you eliminate the bad things in your life you are going to piss people off. They won't understand why you won't return their calls, texts and emails. They talk about you behind your back, they seek revenge and they try to hurt you. You can't let this affect you. You must unglue yourself from the toxicity. Those people need to realize that no matter what they say to you or about you, it will not stop you from being strong. You rise like a Phoenix from the ashes and you leave all the past behind. And those you leave in your wake come to find one day, that right was done by all. Or they don't, but you no longer care because you are free!
1 comment:
When I first started taking Paxil for depression, I totally enjoyed the feeling that I didn't have to react to everything that happened, or that was said to me--I could choose what I respond to, for the first time in my life. I finally could begin to get my emotions under control!
Good for you! I'm glad you're learning these lessons earlier than I did :)
Mary
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