The Modern Male

A laundry list of inherent flaws comes to mind when I think deeply about the genetic code of the modern male. To be honest in modern times women in general have been severely robbed of the traditional possibilities that a male typically offers and as a result of the modernization of the male form we are left simply bereft of the concept of man we once knew. The modern male is so flawed that perhaps his primitive male ancestors should be displayed gingerly amongst the historical exhibits at a museum where little known and ancient phenomenons like the shrunken head are neatly chronicled and displayed.

Yes, the modern man is most certainly an evolution. Long gone are the men who call when they say they might and most certainly are those times distant on the horizon when a modern male had a case of general reliability. Ask the modern male when your next date is, and he will flee as swiftly as a gazelle from water at the nearest sight of a crocodile on the prowl. Expect him to stick to the dinner date you've both discussed on your previous date and just as you think you have a sense of comfort and normalcy he throws a dangerous curve ball directly at your ego and perhaps heart when he texts you last minute to cancel. Its highly likely that he made the decision to cancel 15 minutes after regrettably making the plans however in typical modern (cowardly) male fashion he cancels via text within hours of the date.

So what exactly are we facing here. Perhaps a case of a modern shell of a man that once was or never could be? Is this what women have to look forward to? The evolution of man to coward? And as time goes on the stories get more and more elaborate and complecated and its almost always that the woman is left confused and pensive towards her next suitor. Most of the time is becomes terribly simple for a woman to actually say at the first warning sign of modern male stupidity that they will also flee unabashedly. However, we women know quite well it becomes the opposite. For many painstaking reasons we suffer from the innate social and physical ostracizing that goes into being without a male partner (if this be your preference, in this case lets just leave it as such). We know the strain it causes when other couples want to meet for dinner but don't want a third or fifth wheel looming about. And perhaps the coupled females feel pressured to dreadfully skulk off from their male partners to make plans for some "girl time" when all they want to be doing is kicking back with their male counterpart.

Nonetheless, women are forced into these choppy and uncharted waters of the modern male's rationale without so much as a life raft and are forced to tread water in stilettos, wearing designer clothes and maintaining the perfect shade of blond highlight effortlessly.

Now let me explain myself clearly so you can understand the mind of the single woman. We are thoughtful, caring and independent. We take very good care of ourselves. We have pets to keep us company, but we don't fit the typical pet owner cliche. We work out, stay within our advised caloric intakes and you can most likely find us relaxing with our female friends or alone at a Starbucks, mall or gym. We go to the best bars, drink the most delicious drinks and dine at the best restaurants. We know how expensive the "red bottomed" shoes are, and we have something to say about every couple that passes us. And no we are not looking to steal your man. We instead look at your female companion and take mental note of where we might be lacking.

We put in an endless amount of effort. Outrageous credit card bills maintain our wardrobes, our refrigerators hold seltzer, protein and the occasional celery stalk. We don't need much because we don't cook for ourselves. Its most likely gourmet take-out. So here we are, doing our best, most likely with the end result of having a modern man take notice. But we know your game. You talk to us when you have the most self-confidence, drunk at a bar. You take our phone numbers, and text us before you get home. You arrive home and Facebook and Google us to death. You search our photos, our friends pages and you do your best to see if we'd be worth a phone call. But after careful consideration with your modern male constituents you decide whether or not "this hot girl I met last night" is worth the effort. And when I say effort I don't mean the effort to perhaps rope in a long-term relationship rather...the possibility of sex. How many dates would a girl like that take. And if its good how do you keep her at bay so that you can also have sex with other women without her getting upset? See ladies, that is what goes on in the modern male mind. The same mind that spends 3-4 sessions a day with his hand soap, lotion or other lubricant waxing poetic to some XXX porn complements of the readily accessible Internet.

And if we are worth the time, money and effort to pump out the three spritzes of Aqua di Gio or Armani Black Code then we better accept that the man we are about to have the next three dates with is going to expect sex at date four. And he's going to expect sexy lingerie and talented acrobatics just like the girls he watches on his netbook during a daily jerk-fest. Wow, something to look forward to. Perhaps not. So how do you weed out the seeds, per se? Simple, you don't meet men in bars. You don't give men in bars who have been drinking a fifth of whiskey your number. See the guys in bars are usually on the prowl for "sluts" which is what they call girls they meet in bars. And they date us casually until we give up the cookie and then they are gone faster than the DVF dress in your size on sale. So a little advice girls. Read the signs, know what to expect. Don't for one second think that you can reform this man, change this man or accept this man as is. Instead give him the phone number to Dominos instead of your own and they can get their own hot and warm deliciousness without even wrinkling your slacks! LOL. There are great guys out there who don't lie, who don't obsess about porn, try and get laid and keep hundreds of girls numbers in their phones who were victimized in the same manner you were. Just be patient. Don't give into social pressures. Don't settle. Remember, everyone's path turns in a different direction. My suggestion, take the path of least resistance. The one that will stress you least and not cause you to have to crack open that Ben and Jerry's pint. Cheers!

Forever Young

So the surge of pain is earmarked by the years of stinging tears. The emptiness and the sour feelings inside. Wow, 20 years is almost upon us since your departure. My goodness mom...not a day, not even an hour passes where my mind is bereft of your identity. My behaviors, my actions and the shape I take is modeled on your form. Your beautiful face, your beautiful and caring mind. Always a hand lent to others in need you left your pace in the gravel. I follow like the innocent bird seeking the breadcrumbs you left behind for me to follow. And the sting of the tears and the passing of the years has not robbed me of your being. I sense that there is an innate possibility that the fact you are not here in substance you are here in state of being. Intangible, unscented. I miss it all. It hurts like hell. But when I look into the darkness I know that you are looking back at me. All-knowing that your kin is of sound self and that the crumbs you left behind have nourished the soul of a good and decent person. If I could have but one thing to say to you it would be but one thing.....Thank you.

A Falling Star Fell From Your Heart

And when it happens; its painful. I know I am the star that fell to my untimely death. Left in the dark...alone. Trying my hardest to regain the shadow of your heart at the very least. And yet its more difficult to navigate than a darkened hall. As I travel alone in my new found loneliness I wonder what the twilight of your heart looks like. As I fell from grace this time I am without the usual musings of fond memories. Shards of broken glass reflect the pieces of memories that once were. The pieces that might just be too difficult to reconfigure alone. The hands drained of their velvet red, scarred with just the remnants of the pain that hurt for a moment and then subsided. There is no new day without the reflection of your heart in my hand. The jagged memory of your offering of comfort I longed for but no longer do I pine for its perils of wisdom. I navigate the seas alone again and this time, the wounds heal much faster than the speed of light and sound. So fast that as I take my next breath the pang of longing disappears in its expulsion. And you wonder if this time it hurts...............yet not one moment.

What Did I Do? What Did I Say...NOW?

The intention of good gesture is so that the recipient will take pleasure in its result. Its not easy to convey as giver of gifts how disappointed one could be when gifts are neither received with joy nor accepted with what one had hoped....appreciation. as far as I was always concerned I typically enjoyed the grand gesture of gift-giving no matter how small the present. The initial pang of sadness takes its toll on you when you realize that the brilliance of its intention was meant to be well received however in the circumstance where its not, what to do? But beyond the whole sentiment of gift not being received as anticipated; how frustrating that the receiver sees no harm in expressing their disappointment not concerned at the impact it could have on the emotions and capacity to understand. We all have the great aunt, grandmother type who will without fail manage to buy us a hideous sweater on holidays and even though soon later it will be pitched in the donation bin respectively we accept it without judgement. We manage to accept it and move on. We don't pathetically take the time to use its presence as a platform for emotional distruction. The single act of showing disappointment in a goodwill gesture only implicates that the end result will crash in burn a fiery disaster of hurt feelings, damaged confidence and an overall established sense of insecurity. So now what?

Innocent....HAH!

Dark and twisty is the evil little mind in which you possess. Interfering with past existences can get you in a heap of trouble young man. Allowing the ghost from its chambers is one thing. Sending the dark side out on its night of forbearance can really cause a stir. Oh, you who can leave at a moments haste and then beg for forgiveness at the drop of a cap! Its you that needs the cap sir, to holds one's grey matter aloft! Make haste not in forbearance rather in full and futile tactic. Stand like a beacon in the daylight strong and tall for the one who needs your stoic grace is a fragile one and needs to be coddled like a delicate egg brewing in the steaming waters. No one can explain any of these thoughts racing through my brain. Baby, I am howling for you. The windy night set relationship aflame and not even the strongest of candle could withstand its heat. You let it burn, it burned like the great fires its point of origin your mind. Created were the ideas from within, neither lucid nor clear as transparent as mud and as comprehensible as Sanskrit to the modern mind. Who are you, misrepresenting. Young squire who advertised such wisdom but a mere boy vulnerable like the rest of us. A piece of advice to the young; never dip your wick where it might never get rubbed. Fires they burn but eventually die out, if you want things to work, stand up and be proud. You are not yet a boy nor nearly a man for he who supports is that who leads the clan. Don't stand and squabble, and hope one succumbs rather stand and support and lock fingers tight. Because with out you near its a long and cold night.

There's A She-Wolf........

Tired and utterly over-extended with the trite and moot the she-wolf becomes her. She looks left and right and takes a shallow breath. When the lights are dim she surfaces. Ready for action, ready for her disguise to be removed. This once considered sweet and innocent and of the people darling has transformed. Her heartbreak, her demise fully intends to rear its ugly head......tonight. She may not be the most easy to please but take note this girl is made of steel and it takes a little more in the morning to melt her core. While its too late to go back on words and actions there were things that could have been suggested as a root cause of the dismay and imminent corrections could have been made. However the other side chose to slice a bit deeper into the root thrice cankered and leave and indelible mark of infamy. So instead of taking the time to address the infirm she takes a healthy turn for the dark side; and travels amongst those who dwell in the night and make like a madman on the run and get a head start on the future. One drink at a time.

THe Split Second Rule

Just when you thought for a split second you were happy things reach the pinnacle of comfort and all and all the joy and happiness that you had experienced for the past few weeks and months dissipates into a dry well situation where the only thing that you are faced with is the drought of emotions. Nothing is ever good enough or strong enough to subside the pains that follow the eminent dissatisfaction that is expressed by others. There is just no rhyme or reason as to the way that you are feeling. You are not sure if you should just scratch the whole concept and start again from a blank canvas or should you work out the details of just what went wrong so that you can recoil the springs and make life beautiful again. Perhaps its a partnership that brings you to the agreement level that you need to experience. Perhaps its the individual driver that needs to navigate the individual roads. All in all its a way that we need to reach out and say that something is wrong. The happiness has dissipated and we need to be the responsible parties for getting it back.

This One's For Love

There is no rhyme or reason as to the way we choose to go in life. We'd like to think that our entire planetary existence is predetermined and that no matter what we will come out survivors. We'd like to think all of our flaws and faults are washed away into a basin of forgiveness. That all harms we caused or those unto us are disposed of properly and that we can forge on without regard. Most would believe quite the contrary and that for lifetimes and lifetimes we are to carry our crosses. That the judgemental badges should be worn exposed. No matter what the circumstances we are to provide the free public a disclosure of error. So what if we chose something a little off the beaten path. What if we decided to baptize ourselves in a sort of forgiveness and the ability to be free. While we are discouraged to be free we cannot be afraid to face what a day is. So instead of going through life with a scarlet letter we decide its better to leave the past chapters of our lives on the shelves where they belong. Gone are the endless hours of library research. Rather we renew our faith in what's in front of us and leave the history best where it lies.....in the past.

Feeling particularly inspired by a Cinderella story of two souls united, divided and then come together again under the magic. No distance, no language, no weather allowed to come between the pure love that these two feel for one another. When you are in the presence of its greatness you are blessed. The emotion rubs off and you leave them left with the promise and hope that you too can have the happiness and joy that they are provided. That the perfect celestial alignment felt between the two allows serenity and hope that love does serve a purpose. That no matter how down and out one becomes they can rely on the labor of love to see them through. And for those in love, willing to unite themselves eternally I wish them all the best. Because love is a rare find, and be it not the state borders, airports or distance between the two tonight that makes them come together beautifully and for years to come. Best wishes and forever together!

Funny Way of Feeling Less

You spend your entire life running the race. You try and keep up the pace. You can barely breathe. All of your energy drains from your veins. Until there is nothing left you continously give it your all. Then something happens. Something so significant and you are stimied. All operations come to a screeching halt. Flashes of the past start to present themselves and take shape. From start to finish your primary memories of childhood glory are omnipresent and you take a moment to bask in its glory. Like sunshine basking in it we enjoy the life we once had. Flash forward to the present; things take an interesting shape. The job you worked so hard for, painstakingly strived for, bled for, shed sweat and tears into no longer matters. Things change like the blink of one's eye. When this takes place you finally make the realization that its time to move on. No more rat race. No more thankless moments or hours. No more lost personal moments for the benefit of the underbelly. And as you take a breath in and expel its dioxides into the environment you take a moment, the same moment to realize that its not about what you can give back to "the man" rather what you can give back to yourself, society, those appreciative and those in need. So its time for a change.

From this point when its realized time to go you pack up your belongings sans rucksack rather just what your worn-torn hands can take and stride proudly forward. Ending the decade, ending the era. You gave it your best, but time is up and the road ahead is bright with light, appreciative and a vote of promise for a not so distant and beautiful future.

Knowing, Half The Battle

I always reflect on the famous laments of our past lives. And in this life I was but a mere child quoting a simple television program; "Knowing Is Half The Battle." And just what does this elude to? Does it elude to knowledge being power? Or perhaps the fact that if one had the knowledge they would be much better off to make executive decisions in life? Perhaps in matters of the heart if we only knew just a bit more conclusive information we would be considerably better off? When every relationship feels like an uphill battle where does it appear that we took a wrong turn?

There are many theories as to what it is that knowing being half of the battle could be indicative of. My theory is that if we were just a little bit more confident in ourselves that we would be a little bit further ahead of others in the same firing line. We could be able to take better aim at our target and reach it more successfully if we have the right tool to do so. Oddly enough we are all balanced to the same proportions but leverage quite differently. The balance that I am talking about is the ability to generate enough self-confidence to filter out any inhibitions to go after just what it is that we have been desiring and to capture its attention the manner which graciously benefits our expectations. Take for example the difference between women and men.

If a man walks into a bar he hardly notices the other men in the room. Perhaps he might take an off glance as to ensure whether or not his fellow kind are friend or foe but never as competitors. Now this is the typical rule. There are a small segment of men that will scope out the landscape but they are the exception and should be avoided altogether. For purposes intended lets take a look at this average male. He walks into a bar and if its women he is after his mission begins. He scans the room to see what the evening's offerings are. He then sidles up to a potential bed mate skillfully. If something should blossom further in the evening beyond the initial mission then delightfully so however its not the task at hand. And as he makes his target appointed he takes shape. Whether its the slick, the stoic, the friendly guy or any other sad act he begins the dance. And just like that his interaction begins. Now I am not insinuating that is always this simple; it might take him a few attempts to conjure his energy level and alcohol intake level to the necessary pinnacle before he does this but the overall resultant blend is that he is completely unaware of any other man in the room when he is doing this. Sure if the female happens to be accompanied one would hope the man would show his acknowledgement to the masculine code of ethics but again this is on an exception basis as well. Nonetheless he is not at all concerned of the ramifications of a better looking, better built or better dressed man in his midst shadowing over his evening's feed. He is completely confident; and that is both power and knowledge. He could honestly care less who might overshadow him because he has a predatory instinct and no fear; he is fully confident that he is invincible.

Now onto the other side of the coin. The female philosophy; that we are beautiful creatures until we realize that there might be someone with a slight bit more than we can offer and we quickly curtail our enthusiasm. We cower down and set our expectation bar considerably lower. Instead of locking eyes with someone we want we transition quickly to a lower standard and playfully negotiate with our conscience that we are not worthy of what we desire. We end up skipping out on the desired and quickly surrender to bowels of our self-confidence and end our nights with lackluster, disrespectful, inebriated minions of our expectation. We travel home with our friends only mildly happy that he asked us for our contact information and hope that nothing further than a few pleasant text messages will be exchanged before you have to style him for the new millennium and send him to the dentist for cosmetic surgery. We know deep down in our souls that the ones we want are never the ones we end up with. We sequester our thoughts, caucus with our closest friends trying to determine where our design flaw is. We never reach the conclusion and we ultimately fail. But if we had just taken a lesson from our male friends who are out there getting what they want we could easily comprehend the error of our ways.........a complete and total lack of confidence.

Our futures seem bright if we omit the lack of confidence from our diets; get dressed and step out onto a fair and level playing field where we are all equal. Emit self-confidence that we are the most beautiful, successful and intelligent women with so much to offer the man of our desires with little expectation other than a simple introduction than we can do anything. The time is now to bulk up. Put down the magnetized hand mirror, stop staring at the almost invisible beauty mark on your face, step down from the bathroom scale and grab hold of your self-confidence. Stand up for yourself and affirm that you are as amazing as all of your friends and family say you are and its high time the man you have been inconspicuously making bedroom eyes with know just what he needs.....is you. And knowing that is half the battle.

Cocoon

There are times in life when we truly realize that the person that we thought we needed is the stark opposite of our beliefs. We go through our passive aggressive daily routines, and everything functions within acceptable parameters. We are enjoying the trappings of morality, until we decide that the person we thought was best suited for us is no longer the object of our normalcy. Around the corner, on the next page is a world that contradicts what we think is our best. What is may not necessarily be suited. And so as a proverbial anvil dropped on our decadent minds we arrive at an impasse of emotions. Whether or not we want to believe the cliches or the stereotypes we go with the internal organ that makes our bravest decisions. If we perish, we do. If we survive, we are stronger for the taking. So we allow ourselves to be wrapped around love's fingers and take it to the next level. Emotions, tears, fights and fears we are vulnerable and raw but we are free. Free to love without borders. Free to feel without judgement. The world is ours for the taking; and we seize every moment. And we travel down that path, with the result amazement at the courage that it took to be content. We explore every possibility; the good, the bad, the ugly....and we love. Unconditionally, at the expense of pride and prejudice, we are free between the spaces of our fingers fit another's; perfectly.